When my middle child was two, we traveled out of state to visit a friend. She had only met John once before, and this time she was really struck by him. “He’s so cute!” she gushed, “And it’s a good thing, because if he wasn’t so cute, you’d probably kill him!”
Yep, that about sums up life with my youngest son. Adorable, charming, bright, stubborn, a born lawyer, and full of the devil; he actually has all of the traits I love in an adult, but in a six year-old these same traits are torture. And he delights in his own naughtiness; he always has. For that reason, Grandma decided to buy the Elf on the Shelf, to help remind him to be good.
At first we put the elf in the living room, but John claimed the elf couldn’t see him. So we moved him to the kitchen, and again John claimed the elf couldn’t see him. Now here is a picture of the elf…
Our particular elf was a bit of a lush, and often found in the liquor cabinet.
Well, even with the elf sitting right there, John claimed the elf wasn’t looking. And whatever room we moved him to, John would once again tell us he wasn’t looking! And it’s true. That darn elf didn’t help one bit. In fact, I think the two of them might have been in collusion…
For the last three years, we’ve let that stupid elf languish in our basement. Yep, don’t drink the Kool-Aid people. If you don’t already own the elf, save your money, and stick with Santa. I hear he takes bribes anyway…
Happy Holidays Folks!
The fact that he was way too fond of my tequila was only part of the reason he was banished…
*I am still wool-gathering. So, although timely, I actually wrote this last year for the holidays.
Great post! Smart kid!
He is such a funny kid… and that elf was a lush anyway.
I had never heard of the Elf on the Shelf until this year, and now I want one!
I’ll happily send you mine, but I must warn you… He has a serious problem with tequila.
Great. A drunk elf. Just what I need…
I know. It makes you wonder what REALLY goes on at the North Pole…
Hahahaha! I like this kid. That elf on the shelf creeps me the heck out! Those eyes, that stare, it’s like having Hugo watch over your kid. And he hangs in the liquor cabinet? Oh, nooo!
Then again, it might just be me. No, no, I think it’s the elf.
It’s not you. Those eyes are not the eyes of someone you want watching over your children.
OH, this post came at the perfect time. Not only did my son learn about the Newtown tragedy from the school’s cop yesterday (horrible enough in itself because I’ve been trying to shield him from the news) but the cop also told the kids about the Elf on a Shelf. Now my son wants one desperately, he even set up a little elf bed last night with a box and a blanket, hoping the elf would magically appear. So I checked into it. Apparently these things cost 30 BUCKS?! WHAT?!! The thing is ugly creepy and expensive? Great, just great.
I know. I think it was even more expensive four years ago when my mom bought it for us… but my mom is a Christmas fiend, and can’t resist Christmas products.
I have tried to get my boys to tell us what they know about last Friday, and no one has been able. So, I’m hoping that means they know nothing.
I won’t trust the looks of that elf anyway. Look at its eyes…
Exactly. He’s clearly some sort of Christmas demon.
SO funny! I want to be friends with him (someday. Don’t worry, I’m not creepy like that).
He is a really funny kid, but totally the type of charm that could go either way. Successful politician or professional con artist are equally likely.
I am so grateful that my kids were past the Elf on a Shelf phase when it came into vogue. I’m just not that dedicated to trickery
Exactly! And it’s so not worth it. As it is, I’m kinda shocked that my boys still believe in Santa…
That’s one sneaky elf, but it sounds like your kid has the upper hand in this one. I try to console myself by saying “it’s just a phase” and that things will change. But I forget that kids don’t really forget, and they keep getting *smarter.*
I know. The truly scary thing is that he was saying that at three and a half years old! Thank goodness he’s super cute…
Well I was planning to get the female Elf for my daughter but even she looks crazy.
There’s a girl elf? I had no idea, but that does help explain how Santa never seems to run out of little helpers!
Yeaaaah I was fixing to say, this seemed VERY familiar to my brain. I suspected I was either havin’ Deja Vu all over again, or I had somehow stumbled back in time when I went to take care of number 1 business, and in lieu of a loo, I had actually found a way back in ti-…
Err…you know what, I think i’m going to go with your explanation…it’s easier on my head. (Jack Daniels spiked Nogg, thanks for asking
)
Happy Post-End-Of-The-World Day, and Merry Christmas!
I gotta say, I despise the Elf on a Shelf. Does that make me a Grinch? If so, I’m all in. I’m even considering writing poetry about my hatred of that creepy little perv, so look out.
xoxo
=)
I’m surprised. That elf looks like he has those creepy “always following me” eyes.
I’m still trying to figure out all this elf on the shelf stuff!!!
Hahaha! That is hilarious. What a smart kiddo!
I have a 6-year old just like that, and a similar distaste for the elf. Like your elf, ours ended up guzzling hard liquor (and I have the pictures somewhere on my blog to prove it, LOL).
I need to get myself one of those elves so I stay in line! Sounds like your son and I would get along swimmingly. Need a babysitter? I’m up for it!
My grankids Elf on a Shelf is at an AA meeting right now.thanks for the laughs.
Still wool gathering? You’ll require some more sheep soon if you keep this up. The little elf seems to be my sort of mystical faerie creature, whats his stance on Rum?
Peace
&
Probably prefers honey mead.
He seems to like Tequila best. Pretty sure he was a Mexican orphan that Santa decided to foster.
And yes, I’m still wool-gathering. Please send sheep.
Your son sounds like mine!
Also, what is wood-gathering?