Migraines and Ballerina Princess Monsters

Even from pictures, you can see we're a boisterous bunch.

Even from pictures, you can tell we’re a boisterous bunch.

I keep telling myself everything is going to work out, but I can’t seem to get my mind to agree.  Instead the pun “homeless for the holidays” keeps reverberating through my brain.

We’re not actually homeless, mind you, but we will be putting everything in storage and moving in with my in-laws shortly after the holidays… unless the Mayans were right and the world ends.  I’m kinda quietly tempting fate by singing the lyrics “Come Armageddon, come Armageddon,” as often as possible.  So far, it’s not working.  Also, my Morrissey impression sucks.

We actually had a house, but couldn’t seem to iron out the contract issues.  The contract had no mortgage contingency, part of the property had no title, and the seller wouldn’t budge on (fixing or price adjusting for) any of the problems raised during inspection.  Every time we asked the lawyers to change a clause we would wait 7-10 days to hear back from him.  However, just before Thanksgiving, the asshat seller gave us a take it or leave it offer, with 24-hours notice, that still didn’t solve the title problem.  So that was it.

Our ballerina princess monster, in a rare moment of quiet repose...

Our ballerina princess monster, in a rare moment of quiet repose…

We’ve noticed an uptick in real estate activity since the hurricane.  Suddenly there are a lot more people looking for houses, and good houses are going even more quickly.  Most likely, the asshat seller already had another offer on the table, when he gave us the 24-hour ultimatum.

Anyway, I’m frustrated.  We’ve bought two other houses, and both were bullshit-free affairs that went pretty smoothly.  Instead, we’re now back to full-scale house-hunting, with seven weeks wasted.  And even if we found a house tomorrow, we’d still have to move in with my in-laws because our house is sold.  Although it’s incredibly generous of my in-laws, it’s really… not ideal for anyone, least of all my in-laws.  We’re not exactly a quiet bunch, and my father-in-law already gets nasty migraines.  We’ll keep the kids in their current schools until we’ve bought another house, but it’s going to be incredibly chaotic for the next few months.

I keep trying to tell myself it will all work out, but the bottom line is I’m 26 33 and moving in with my in-laws.  Also, as long as I’m griping, I’m still fairly annoyed about being 33.  When did that happen?

P.S. Please send large quantities of Tequila Patron.  My stash is getting low.  It’s for my father-in-law, obviously.

Incredible levels of noise!  Coming soon to a house near you!

Incredible levels of noise! Coming soon to a house near you!

*Dear Mr. Morrissey, thank you for not suing me.  You’d be getting a blue minivan with a penguin decal on it, and not much else.  Also, in case you’ve actually been wanting a blue minivan with a penguin decal, you should know I haven’t cleaned the backseat in at least three years.

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51 Responses to Migraines and Ballerina Princess Monsters

  1. La La says:

    Address? I will send liquor promptly! (Her eyes are beautiful!)

  2. raeme67 says:

    I remember back to the time I turned 33 (long time ago)…my son asked me how old I was, I answered, and in an amazed voice he blurted out: 33!!
    Hang in there! Here is hoping to house success, soon!

  3. Aw, your kids are so cute. And your princess looks gorgeous! Way better than those Toddler and Tiara girls. I hear their hair is fake! And the spray tans? Pfft. Wait, what the hell am I saying? Um, sorry about the house fiasco. That sucks. I couldn’t imagine moving in with my inlaws. Seriously. Couldn’t imagine. Ever. At all. But at least you won’t be homeless!

    Here’s hoping a house drops in your lap soon (though preferably not literally ON you, as I hear that is painful.)

    • Alice, you raise a good point. Do you think if I sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” enough a house might fall on me? Maybe I could just move away at the last possible second?

      Ugh, in all seriousness, we’re lucky my in-laws are willing to let us live there for a few months. I’d hate to get locked in a rental contract while we were looking…

  4. Oh, another question. Why is my pic not in your community pic photo down there? And also, why the heck is it snowing on WordPress? What the hell?

  5. 33 is the Jesus year! Age 33 was good for me, actually. But that was 11 years ago, I don’t remember it so well anymore. Good luck with the in-laws—God speed. I don’t think I’d last very long if I were to move in with my in-laws. May you find a house and/or a full case of tequila soon.

  6. Carrie Rubin says:

    Phew! I finally made it over here. But now I’m sad. I feel bad for your plight. It must be so stressful for you. It’s one thing if you’re on your own, or it’s just your husband and you, but with little ones involved, I’m sure the uncertainty gets scary. I wish you (and your in-laws) well in your transition. Someday it will be behind you, but it’s the getting to that point that proves difficult.

    I just watched a Dr. Phil episode where a family lost their home (it’s a really weird story–apparently they moved to another town temporarily and left their other home unattended because they planned to move back, but when they came back, they found another family had taken over their home and now refuses to move out–weird). One thing that Dr. Phil said touched me. When the mother cried that she had no home for her children, he replied, “Your children do have a home; it’s in your arms and your lap.” Obviously, that’s a bit abstract, but his take home message was to continue to make the children feel safe and secure, and they’ll always feel like they have a home.

    • Mostly I’m nervous that my in-laws will hate us after this. The kids are actually excited, because it’s Grandma and Grandpa! But we’re all old. So, even though we’ll try to play along, we’re constantly looking for new listings. And we’re trying to avoid houses with legal or permit issues because that’ll only drag out the process.

      They had to legally remove squatters in order to get their house back? That’s crazy!

      • Carrie Rubin says:

        They’re still in a legal battle with it! Apparently in their state, there’s some obscure law that says if you’ve lived in an abandoned place for a certain amount of time, and no one claims it before then, you can claim it as your own. Is that messed up or what? But never fear. Dr. Phil to the rescue…

  7. Your daughter has CRAZY AMAZING HAIR! Good luck with the move and house buying – it’s kind of exciting to think you can buy a house!! Of course the BS in the middle sucks asshat…

    Ah migraines – get them and they are horrid – a neurologist suggested a daily dose of Vit. B complex – I’m on year two and have only flirted with a couple bad headaches and had 1 migraine where I required serious meds – typically I’m down for the count once a month. The Vit. B might be helpful for your F-I-L.

    • Yeah, her hair is gorgeous, but it’s also the bane of our existence. (When wet, it’s down to her diaper and she screams and thrashes like a madwoman when I brush it. My husband has to stand there and distract her while I brush it.) We might need to chop off a few inches in order to simplify our lives.

      We are definitely lucky to be able to buy a house, just having trouble finding something. Market listings slow WAY down in November, and right now is unusual because there are more buyers than usual thanks to the hurricane.

      My FIL does take prescription meds for his migraines, but usually once they’re started it’s already a little bit too late. He had a work injury years ago that caused inner ear problems. I very rarely get headaches, and when I do get them I’m always convinced I’m going to die. I feel so bad when I hear about people getting migraines because I’m sure I would completely shut down if I regularly got any sort of headaches. I’m sorry.

      • Like all things – when it happens you sort of cope – what I’ve found with migrines (well mine anyway) are they seem to come when I have time to handle them. But having headaches via an injuy is probably much different than getting hormone induced migrines.

        I could see where it would be hard to maintain those lovely locks on a small ballerina child!

  8. Peaches says:

    Omg. You’re a saint…or your in-laws are…or you all are. I seriously hope you guys find a home soon and that everything works out wonderfully. Maybe FIL won’t have a migraine for a while? Hubby sometimes goes month without one…

    • We are really lucky my in-laws offered because getting locked in a rental contract while house-hunting only would have added to our miseries. My FIL gets a lot of migraines because he had a work accident that affected the inner-workings of his ear. He does take (prescription) medicine for it, but usually once they’ve already started it’s too late.

  9. Adam S says:

    Good. Luck. I need to know who invented “Asshat” because I’m sending him/her a Christmas card this year.

  10. speaker7 says:

    We’re in the process of trying to work this house wrangling stuff out ourselves. Half the house is packed up, my tonsils come out in two weeks and I’m expecting to be sitting in a reclining chair in a moving van somewhere because so far no closing date. This process blows. I will drink tequlia in spirit with you.

    • Your tonsil operation got moved to the holidays? Does that mean you’ll be watching everyone else eat while you sit and eat applesauce in a moving van? That really does blow. In theory, after an operation, you should be allowed to lay in bed for two weeks while your husband fans you and feeds you pureed grapes.

  11. Sending much good energy your way.

  12. Oh, I’m so sorry! That sounds so hard. Everything will work out, though, even if it doesn’t feel that way now. I’ll be thinking of you guys, and hope you find something fantastic really soon.

  13. Nina Badzin says:

    Think of all the great blog fodder though . . . in-laws are good stuff (for thinly veiled blog fodder!)

  14. El Guapo says:

    Tequila is on its way.
    And surely your adorable children can soothe the migraine beast!
    (Or at least scare it away…)

  15. jimmydevious says:

    P.S. Please send large quantities of Tequila Patron. My stash is getting low. It’s for my father-in-law, obviously.

    Screw that shite-nanagins! I think you need several Christmas stocking-stuffer gift certificates to a BULK liquor distributor. :P

    Poor poor dearie.
    Hang in there through what is sure to be your “Griswald Family Christmas! “

  16. Liverwurst says:

    Shouldn’t you be packing right about now?

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