Whenever I see signs that read “Keep New York Beautiful,” I snicker a little. This area of New York is fairly developed, and you have to go pretty far East or upstate before you encounter natural beauty.
In contrast, northern Pennsylvania, is just full of natural beauty. (As I had mentioned in another post, our family travels there semi-frequently.) However, the area is very rural, so when the weather is bad, there isn’t much to do. And the drive takes a minimum of three hours. Three hours isn’t bad, of course; it’s just frustrating when it takes six hours for a three-hour trip…
New York Traffic (Try not to be jealous.)
Mumbles something incoherent that sounds remarkably like cursing.
Anyway, with the rain last weekend, we were stuck indoors for the most part. Thankfully, I found this novelty pen at a convenience store, and this pen turned out to be endless entertainment. It’s a Notre Dame pen with a fighting Irishman. Every time you click him, he punches. And, in order to make full use of the pen, one should also say, “POW, POW, POW!” with every click. As it turns out, Mr. Lunchmeat finds said pen rather annoying, which makes for lots of bonus fun. So, I present to you…
How to Torture Your Husband on a Rainy Weekend:
10. Click novelty pen repeatedly, while saying, “POW, POW, POW!”
9. While telling your husband how bad he is at cheating at cards, click pen and say, “POW, POW, POW!” (Yes, I expect my Euchre partners to be good at cheating. Is that too much to ask?)
8. Encourage your three-year-old to repeatedly click the pen, while saying, “POW, POW, POW!” (We are clearly related, as she does this with flying colors.)
7. While filling out Sudoku puzzle, take ten minute breaks to click pen. ”POW, POW, POW!” Return to Sudoku. Break to play with pen. Repeat.
6. Talk about awesome pen repeatedly.
5. Encourage your six-year-old to repeatedly click the pen, while saying, “POW, POW, POW!” (This also seems to come quite naturally to said six-year-old.)
Crummy cell phone picture, taken before pen mysteriously vanished…
4. Encourage your eight-year-old to repeatedly click the pen, while saying, “POW, POW, POW!” (Husband is appearing rather aggravated.)
3. Try to keep the pen on you at all times. ”POW, POW, POW!”
2. Husband is appearing more and more annoyed. Be sure to take the pen everywhere, including the shower. Sleep with pen right next to you.
1. Wake up Monday morning to discover the pen is missing.
And there it is, how to torture your husband with nothing but ingenuity and a pen. Do you have any fun ways to torture your spouse activities/traditions you save for rainy days?
The reverse is true in my household–my husband finds ways to torture me. I guess I need to get busy…
It’s funny, because I have a post about my husband planned for Monday. Well, it’s kind of about him. Great minds and all that.
My husband doesn’t always love to have posts written about him… I suppose that means I should write about him more often.
More husband torture. You are a devious one.
That is so mean, but very creative! I wanted to take a hammer to that pen by the end of the post.
I was bound to go home, and eventually forget about it. My husband still claims he didn’t take it though…
As a husband, I strenuously object to this clear and malignant spouse baiting.
That being said, where can I pick up one of these pens, because it would drive my wife batty!
hehehe
I found it at a convenience store in the Poconos. My guess is you can also find them online through Notre Dame… You might want to buy more than one though!
hah you and I need to write one of these together.
E-mail me. (loveandlunchmeat@gmail.com) I’m sure we can thing of something…
I don’t need a pen. All I have to do is lick my husband on the face and he’ll go batshit. Now one of my sons does it too.. he’s my favourite.
I’m going to have to try that, and see what happens…
yes I do, I pretend I am handing him the channel changer and then pull it back — I can do this for hours
This may be the most malicious comment anyone has ever left. It’s the spousal equivalent of Chinese water torture. (I’m stealing this tactic BTW. It’s golden.)
I gave you my secret–use it well, grasshopper
I miss Euchre, No one plays in Florida.
On our wedding night, our Michigan friends taught our out-of-state friends how to play Euchre. So, now everyone plays, and we didn’t even have to teach them! Score!
I love to play euchre and i cheat all the time!
Rose,
You are welcome here anytime! And when we win, we simply explain it’s because women are smarter…
My favorite way to annoy Mr. Weebles on any day, rainy or not, is to get right up in his face while he’s reading or on the computer, and say, “Is this annoying you?” Usually it is.
I’m thinking doing this followed by either licking his face or a puff of air could be even more effective…
My younger one used to go stand next to her older sister about 6 inches away from her face and just blow a puff of air every 10 seconds or so. After about 3-4 minutes, the older one goes batshit crazy screaming. Of course I heard nothing previous to the older one going nuts and intervene, asking the older one why she is freaking out when we had such nice silence of them playing quietly together. She tells me what happened. I ask younger one who says, “Yep, I did.” WHY?
Because I was bored.
We’ve discovered a little puff of air at 10 second intervals can truly alleviate boredom. Now it’s a family tradition.
My sister used to do that to me!!! That was one of her distraction techniques when we were playing pool. There’s nothing worse than trying to make a shot with someone blowing in your ear.
My future husband is going to LOVE this. I can’t even wait.
I know. Men everywhere are thanking me right now. Their tone seems a little sarcastic though…
I think my hubs outdoes me in this arena too. I wish I had a pen like yours. A secret weapon.
I could see Le Clown being good at this. Really don’t know how you deal with so much magnificence ALL the time…
Pharmaceuticals. Several.
Lovely, lovely
. When’s the divorce planned? 
He is entirely stuck with me. We’ve been together for over twelve years and married for ten, so he’s used to my antics.
I suspect that your husband is secretly playing with the pen… While silently mouthing the words POW POW POW
I know… and that’s if he hasn’t already stomped on it until it’s a million tiny pieces.
Oh, wow, I suddenly have some ideas of what to do when my husband is watching one of his reality fishing / dumpster diving / survival / pawn store reality shows. POW POW POW. The 12 and 8 year olds would really get into that too.
Oh… Thankfully my husband doesn’t watch any of those. I think as he’s watching you should grab a notebook, and start writing down ideas for when times get tight. A friend of mine likes to tell stories about eating worms in Iraq.
I would bet if you went that route your husband would eventually freak out and stop watching those shows. “Aagh! There’s my wife with the notebook again…” Every spouse is different though, and this might not be the right tactic for your husband.
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