*This post is actually Part 1 of an awards post. I know. I know. However, it’s also your opportunity to vote for me in Le Clown’s stupid blogroll contest… and to nominate yourself for my Zombie Apocalypse Team!
First of all, I must get the official speech out of the way…
Thank you very much to Peaches of A Lateral Plunge for The Very Inspiring Blog award and Sophia from Four Doodles and a Taco for the One Lovely Blog Award. Quite honestly, I’m pleased that anyone comes here. I love writing my blog (and strongly suspect I would keep writing it even if I only had three watchers), but it’s awesome that a few other people like it too. I know some people hate awards for their chain-letterish quality, but I secretly like them. I have a bunch of favorite blogs, and I’m more than happy to point readers their way!
Plus, it allows all of my lucky readers to learn even more things about me that they don’t want to know! However, instead of presenting the usual seven things about myself, I present the following:
Reasons You Want Me On Your Team During the Zombie Apocalypse
1. It’s extremely difficult to gross me out. I’ve dissected sheep brains, several frogs, eyeballs, and a heart. In fact, my brother-in-law and I have been known to discuss frog ovum at the family dinner table. (Sidenote: Other family members really appreciate this.) I present this as a skill because cleaning up zombie brains can be quite messy, or so I’m told.
2. I’m brave, especially in the presence of spiders and other insects that are less than a millionth of my size. Some would argue that I’m fearless to the point of stupid, but for the purpose of this blog, we shall refer to me solely as brave.
3. I’m not afraid to eat canned goods or nitrates. In fact, I’m quite fearless when it comes to bacon. Also, I’m told I’m a pretty good cook (which is a legitimate life skill).
4. I’m innovative, and good at problem-solving. For example, I’ve been known to use socks when mittens weren’t available. This may or may not be due to me forgetting things, and then needing to improvise. Nonetheless, I’m an innovator.
5. I have serious “skillz” with firearms. I didn’t discover this until several months ago, but not only do you want me on your team, you probably want me holding a gun. (When one is bragging, skills always become skillz, right?)
6. I used to work as a reference librarian in government documents. That means I know things.
7. As long as I’m given regular injections of caffeine, I’m fairly amiable. (Sidenote: Please stick with coffee like substances. Injecting carbonated beverages into the bloodstream is not just dangerous, it’s deadly.)
Alright, that’s quite enough about me. Now is your opportunity to tell me something about yourself. Why should I want YOU on my Zombie Apocalypse Team?
Stay tuned for the nominations, which will be coming in Part 2!
*For those who might be concerned, we take gun safety very seriously, and always properly secure firearms.